You know, I've been trying to write these couple of days. There are so many things I wanna write about, it's not like I couldn't crack anything out of my mind but I just didn't have the heart to do so. So many things have been boggling me, boggling me deep into the core of my brain. So many questions I need answers to and yet none answered. At times I just feel like running away from all of these but rationally and logically I know that running away isn't going to solve anything in the long run and I have to be brave and upfront in facing the reality or whatever it is that is laid down perfectly in front of me with the irresistible life dressing. True enough but yet I couldn't rid off the temptation of running from reality and thus I ended up anesthetizing myself with lots and lots of sleep that I no longer know which is day or which is night.

I don't know if it's anyone's fault anymore or is it just mea culpa. Is life suppose to be like this, I ask myself quite often. One tragic event after another? I'd like to think that I'm scrappy. I used to think I am but now I'm not too sure anymore. I'm beginning to doubt my spirit in life, to doubt everything. Has the life in me slipping slowly away, draining me dry? Yet, at times I feel so alive! Orh darn, LIFE is so complicated! I hate it and yet I love it. Geez I wish I can just melt and dissolve into the ground into nothingness. Vanished from the face of earth, the most brutal battling arena in the whole universe. Period.