You know, I've been trying to write these couple of days. There are so many things I wanna write about, it's not like I couldn't crack anything out of my mind but I just didn't have the heart to do so. So many things have been boggling me, boggling me deep into the core of my brain. So many questions I need answers to and yet none answered. At times I just feel like running away from all of these but rationally and logically I know that running away isn't going to solve anything in the long run and I have to be brave and upfront in facing the reality or whatever it is that is laid down perfectly in front of me with the irresistible life dressing. True enough but yet I couldn't rid off the temptation of running from reality and thus I ended up anesthetizing myself with lots and lots of sleep that I no longer know which is day or which is night.

I don't know if it's anyone's fault anymore or is it just mea culpa. Is life suppose to be like this, I ask myself quite often. One tragic event after another? I'd like to think that I'm scrappy. I used to think I am but now I'm not too sure anymore. I'm beginning to doubt my spirit in life, to doubt everything. Has the life in me slipping slowly away, draining me dry? Yet, at times I feel so alive! Orh darn, LIFE is so complicated! I hate it and yet I love it. Geez I wish I can just melt and dissolve into the ground into nothingness. Vanished from the face of earth, the most brutal battling arena in the whole universe. Period.

This post is specially dedicated to Mangkuk because it's Mangkuk's much loved topic of all time. It is bound to surface in each and every conversation you have with her. Big Fat Witch will definitely agree with me. Don't you?

Was writing a post for my blog (the one i posted up before this) when suddenly I heard mom shouting from outside my room:

"OMG! OMG! Roccio is running like mad, fleeing for life! Come look at this! Hurry up everyone come look! This is so unusual! OMG!"

Panicked, afraid that something bad has happened to Roccio, I dropped everything at hand and ran out of my room to see what was all the commotion about.

As soon as I reached the crime scene, guess what I saw?

For those faint-hearted please read no further.

For those who can barely take a second helping of your food at the mere mention of maggots, lizards, roaches and the likes please venture no further.

But for those of you who thinks you're brave enough to challenge your guts, be my guest
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(first thing that came to my mind when I saw this ~ "I need my camera" *ewwwww* Mom said "Drop it will ya, you're one disgusting idiot!" Muahaha I guess I am and a very sick one too)

(2nd thing that came to my mind ~ "Only the thang in the pic isn't gonna prove anything. Hmmm...so maybe a bowl will do" *grabs the nearest bowl I can get and snap snap snap*)

(My lil bro, Dorky says "I think a ruler would be better. At least it's measurable". For the first time in my life, I said "Damn, you're smart after all!" *grabs a ruler, place it there and snaps the picture happily, beaming with pride thinking it's the accomplishment of the day!*)

What a piece of shyt huh? But still I bet it's not long enough to beat someone else's piece of shyt (you know who you are when you see this)

Okay, I admit this post is disgusting but heck that's what you get when a person is jobless and has too much time at hands.

15th of May 2008 was a memorable date. It's the 1st Anniversary for MoofMoof and I. However we didn't officially became an item on that day. We chose to celebrate on that day because :-

1. Neither of us can recall when was the very day we finally hooked up (don't ask me why, it's a long long story)
2. It's mom's birthday so it's easier on our scatty brain.

Although he's halfway around the world, that didn't stop us from celebrating the day two souls united in love bonded in destiny.

That very morning, MoofMoof blew my heart and took my breath away. Just when I thought things can't get any sweeter or any more romantic than that, he would just whoop something right up to sweep me off the ground again. Yea, he sent me a parcel of love. Right then I know I'm the luckiest girl to have found the sweetest guy <3.


(The most wonderful parcel I've ever received)

(Isn't this adorable? A handmade necklace and bracelet and 2 of his most loved cutie keychains which he bought from Vietnam. Piggy keychain-->Me and Doggy keychain-->MoofMoof. Oh by the way he has the same exact bracelet except that it reads "I (LOVE) SAMANTHA" and he wears it everyday. *Melts my heart away*)

(A box full of handmade stars)

(I've received lots of handmade stars in the past but none like these ~ stars with hand-drawn pictures, they are uber cute. He sent 3 superheroes to protect me ~ Superman, Spiderman and Batman, can you spot them? Orh girls {you know who you are when it comes to Foster} if you're reading this can you spot a Foster star he sent, specially for all of us? *squeals excitedly*. Did any of you notice the piece of doodoo? I notice lotsa guys love to draw doodoo. Wonder why? Anyone?)

(The words say it all. Makes me cry when I read them. *rolls eyes*. Well don't look at me like that, I can't help it. I tend to have a soft spot for touchy stuffs like that. *rolls eyes again*)

(He was debating whether to give me lotsa kisses or just one kiss. There, he decided to give me a huge ass kiss!)

(MoofMoof's most fav moomoo or so he says. MoofMoof won it from the fair. He's a freaky froggy-like moomoo ~ "Hun, don't debate it cause you know it's freaky, even Ryan says so". But I still think it's super duper cute, just like you, freaky but super duper adorable *Runs for life before I get tickled to death*)

(And last but not least, how can a card not accompany so many loveable goodies. Not 1 but 2 CARDS! And they are handmade too! *Awwwww melts habis-habisan* , translation - fully melted, I think...hmm... *scratching head*)

See, how can I not say I'm the luckiest girl when a guy does so many many uber sweet confections? We spent the rest of the day babbling away ~ <3.

Omigosh! I kena usha today, WTF! Now I feel so dirty and depressed and I wanna slit my wrist and die. LOLZ okok I'm just kidding okay? I'm not suicidal and it's not so serious okay? If I am, I won't be sitting here posting this up okay? I'll be six feet under ground oledi! Or maybe still in the hospital waiting for the forensic fella to do a post-mortem.

Anihoo, back to the story ~ it was just 2 bugger on a bike took over me while I was cruising down the freeway in my hot chicka mini Ferrari...yea it's Ferrari okay? Don't pray pray ar! The passenger of the bike usha me lo. How sure am I that he is usha-ing me and not my car? Of course la, cause I'm definitely hotter than my car. According to my dear Big Fat Witch, I'm a Hot MAMA soon to be Hot Auntie. Okay, scrap the last part, I don't like Hot Auntie, Hot MAMA sounds nicer. Anyway the hamsap passenger usha me and tak cukup lagi, he tugged on his buddy's shirt and ask him to usha together-gether. Wah I was farking furious. I honked and honked and gave him the "Apa usha usha har, nak kena korek mate ke" look and he got so scared and peed in his pants. Hmm...Maybe I over exaggerate. Hehe me ain't so evil and fierce like a lioness okay? Although once in a while I can be lo so you better be careful ya. But this time I just gave them a smile before I cut into the right lane and sped off.

Well, I know la I cun and hot and anggun but please la wei, cherish your life okay? If not also, cherish others' life. Fixed your eyes on the road so you don't run your motor kerepot into the poor innocent car in front of you and I would definitely not fancy running over you two poor hamsap bugger either. I don't want to have sleepless nights just cause you both make headlines on the front page like "Nahas Akibat Si Anggun" or "Beauty and 2 Dead Buggers"..wah man that's a heavy guilt to bear okay? Guilty of being a beauty and then I'll have to pay gazillion dollars for a plastic surgery just to make me look ugly...eh but come to think of it, to make myself look ugly is not that hard after all hor? Just place my face on a waffle maker and forever I'll carry a waffle head lo...

Lesson of the day ~ Don't Stare and Drive (I mean focus on the road and drive and not something else okay?)

Weekend was one hell of a roller coaster ride. So many things had happen with so much emotion involved. Happy, sad, nervous, fear, worries, you name it I have it. Except for anger I guess.

May 10th 2008, woke up from my nap and as usual the first thing I do when I got up is to switch on my lappy. Login to Facebook and my email, saw nothing on Facebook but something in my mailbox caught my attention. It read “CRIS” which means it’s something from USCIS. Getting all jiggly and nervous I clicked open the email with my trembling hand and there it was sitting on my mailbox reading "On May 9, 2008, we mailed you a notice that we have approved this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E)". I can’t believe what I saw. I had to rub my eyes twice and pinched myself a couple of times before I go ~ “Wuhoo! It’s real, it’s real! It is so so real! It’s finally happening!!!!!!!!!!”. Gotta tell Denny immediately, dialed his number so many times but that baka hubby of mine didn’t pick up his phone, so I had to call the house number. My sleepy Mama picked it up. Felt so sorry for waking her up but I had to get the happy news to Denny. It was the best news of the day. We talked happily about all the exciting things we’re gonna do when I’m there but then as sudden as the happy news came, I broke into tears. Overwhelmed by the sudden gush of sadness for having to leave my family behind I just couldn’t stop crying. It was a good thing that Denny was around assuring me that everything is going to be fine and we will come home to Penang often to visit my family and friends. Denny, thank you for your assuring words, for you love and care.

The following day, I was worried sick. Mom was admitted to the hospital with the docs not knowing what was wrong. They perform and ultrasound scan on mom and said it might be an inflation on her fallopian tube or a cyst or an inflation on her intestine but they couldn’t be sure until they perform a surgery on mom. I had to seek few doctors’ opinions and do so much research in a day to help my mom and dad decide which was the best option for her. I was able to convinced dad to ask the doctor to perform a laparoscopy on mom to inspect the affected area for the real culprit and removing the affected area using the same method and told the doctor to only opt for a more extensive surgery if the problem area is too complicated for laparoscopy. Mom went through the laparoscopy procedure late afternoon yesterday. What they found was a heavy cyst twisting the end of the right fallopian tube. The twisted fallopian tube was the culprit of the massive pain. They removed the cyst and the bad end of the fallopian tube and now mommy is better and recovering. Thank goodness!

As I was chatting with Denny, we stumbled upon what he ate for the day and 2% milk was mentioned. Hmm…was scratching my head, wondering what’s a 2% milk. Is it some kinda new dairy product with some fancy new milk-making technology? Does the milk contain only 2% milk? Then, what would the other 98% be? I’ve never heard of a 2% milk before, never ever in my life until then. It’s either that the term isn’t being used in Malaysia or I’m too ignorance to notice such a thing existed.

Okay to those who are just as lost as I am when it comes to what’s a 2% milk, here’s a little fact about it that I’ve googled up from the web.

The 2% refers to the percentage of fat by weight that the milk contains while normal full cream milk contains about 3.5% fat. 2% milk is often mistaken for low fat milk but in fact it can only be referred to as reduced-fat milk. 1 serving of 2% milk still contains 5g of fat that derives close to 35% of its’ calories from fat but to qualify as low fat milk, its’ total fat content must be 3g or less. So if you’re serious about eating a low fat diet, 2% milk isn’t gonna cut it, you’ll have to opt for 1% or best of all, go for fat free milk.

Well hopefully this tiny piece of information helps make you a smarter milk-shopper and not a dumb milk-shopper that I used to be. Does the milk contain only 2% milk? Duh! What a silly question to ask >.< …I’m such a DORK…